Night Thoughts
I often have the urge to write, but that urge is nearly just as often unaccompanied by an idea. I sit in front of my keyboard hoping something will reveal itself to me. But I think I've set too high a bar for posting something here. And I shouldn't expect that a muscle I haven't exercised much will build itself up. Anything worth doing takes some effort and I'll just have to make an attempt. Here's one such attempt.
Sitting in the quiet at night often elicits what I call night thoughts. You could call them musings or ruminations, but I think of them as being more grey than that. I think of them not as dark thoughts, necessarily; rather, the kind that don't present themselves in daylight. Our minds are busy during the day. Engaged with work and life and family. Any empty moments are quickly filled with a digital distraction (you know the one). Grey thoughts are sequestered until the night comes down like heaven. Or like hell, some nights.
There's something about the melancholy of the night that invites the wispy tendrils of these thoughts to envelop the mind. They take on many forms. I relive a success in slow motion. I replay a conversation in my head, second guessing something I said. I regret a missed opportunity to tell someone I love them. Fond memories from a younger time stretch and arise, taking me further from sleep. I often wax and wane between contentment and wistfulness.
Life is rich, despite the pain and discomfort. There are ways to quiet these grey thoughts to lessen the discomfort they can bring. But in doing so, you miss the good ones, too. I suspect it's best to face them, to make your stand. Bring the grey ones into the daylight and they wither.
This has been a night thought. Feel free to email me and share one of yours.
Onward and.. inward.